
I’m a perfectionist. So, if I’m going to do something, I’m going to do it RIGHT. Take my lifestyle, for instance. I made the decision to be more eco/world/health-concious, and so, that influences every choice I make. So, to use house-cleaning as an example, when I realized the harmful effects of chemical detergents and cleansers not only on the air quality of my home, but on the environment as a whole, I stopped buying those things. I found other truly natural options (like Dr. Bronner’s; vinegar; baking soda). Therefore, it’s very hard for me to accept small changes. I want change NOW! I want the Barack-Obama-campaign-poster-sized CHANGE in everyone! Yes, this is impossible (is it?) but I still can’t let it go.
An employee of the small, organic market where we shop said to me last week, “What if everyone just made one change–like even changing from whatever cleanser they are using to that new Clorox stuff that is more eco-friendly? Just imagine how much of an impact THAT could have.” And she is totally right. I just have a hard time finding peace.
If someone says, “I just stopped using traditional makeup. Now I use minerals!” I want to know if they have switched all of their other cosmetics to natural/organic products. I want to know if they buy their minerals from an independent company versus a big box store.
I was on an “eco-friendly family” forum, where the main topic is cloth diapering. (I admit, that is what drew me to the forum in the first place even though there are no thoughts of children at the moment.) Women discuss the process of cloth diapering, the spraying, the soaking, the washing, the bleaching, the ammonia… I wanted to scream, “What about the water you’re using?!? What about bleach you’re inhaling?!?” And by the way, there really is no answer as to which is the “better” method in the disposable vs. cloth debate. (And if you’re really bored, find one of these forums and post a message entitled, “Your method sucks because…” then wait for the mob to attack.)
If someone says, “we recycle,” I’m happy, but want to know if they continue to buy products packed in unnecessary plastic…
What is my deal? I’ve set the bar too high, perhaps even for myself. I didn’t create this petroleum-based world but I somehow feel like I can fix it. Perhaps that is the heart of the matter. Small changes are unacceptable to me because there is so much to do. I want everyone to make it her priority. My agenda is huge, my hopes high. And so, I am constantly searching for peace with this idea…